My Testimony

I grew up in a Christian home.  Some of my earliest memories are of Sunday School and AWANAS.  When I was younger, I thought that the faith of my parents could get me to heaven.  I didn't bother to believe for myself when my family could believe for me.  I accepted my parents' faith without question.

When I was eight years old, Twin Towers were attacked.  This tragedy shattered my young mind to pieces.  I was a little girl who did not understand why the same bad men who killed so many people in New York wouldn't come to my town in Texas and hurt me too.  I began to suffer from severe anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.  I wouldn't eat or drink without being forced.  I wouldn't go outside and play with my friends.  I couldn't bring myself to cross the street to get the mail in the good neighborhood where I lived.  I couldn't sleep at night.  My panic attacks would cause me to be nearly unable to breathe.  My heart would race in my chest, skipping like a rabbit.  One severe panic attack even sent me to the emergency room.  I was a little girl who suffered with big issues and my parents were at a loss of what to do.  My mom began getting up thirty minutes earlier than the rest of the family to pray that God would save me from my fears.

The day before my tenth birthday, I was reading a book called "Left Behind" by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins.  The book was about the rapture and everything involving that subject.  I began to think about what it would be like if Jesus came and took all of the Christians up to heaven and left everyone else behind.  I knew that I would be the only one out of most of my family and friends that would be left.  I would be alone.  This frightened me to the core.  I finally realized that I could not rely on my parents to believe in Jesus for me.  I had to shoulder my own faith and believe in the Lord because I knew it was true.

I got on my knees right where I was and told Jesus Christ that I was a sinner, I believed that He died on the cross for my sins, and I accepted Him as my Savior and as my God.

Almost immediately, there was a change in my life.  I was transformed overnight.  The panic attacks went away.  I could sleep through the night without fear.  I was able to travel the world without my parents.  I could finally smile again.

I was around twelve years old when things began to change.  I've always felt a huge empathy for poverty and those in need.  I began to wonder, "If God really does love everyone, then why does He let so many kids starve to death every day?  He can't love us."  And I started to doubt.  Doubt, if not put in check, can easily spread like wildfire.  I soon began to dismiss God completely.  I openly denied to several of my friends that He even existed... and if He did, I thought that He surely must hate the world.

Depression and feelings of worthlessness hit me hard after I dismissed my faith.  I felt stupid, ugly, and unlovable.  I was more depressed than I had ever been before.  I began to cut myself... occasionally at first, but then it became a dangerous habit and an outlet for me to release my anger and sadness and pent up emotions that I would never let anyone else see.  I wanted to hurt.  I felt like I deserved the pain I caused myself.

When I was thirteen, I attempted suicide and failed.

My parents found out about my self injury and obviously panicked.  They were once again at a loss of what to do.  I was depressed, miserable, and I put a wall up against everyone around me.

The summer before my freshman year of high school, I made a 'deal' with God.  I basically said,

"God, if You exist, then I want You to show me a sign.  Prove that You can work through me.  Prove that You exist.  If You don't, I'm going to kill myself (and make sure it works this time) before school starts in August.  If You give me reasonable proof that You can work in my life, then I'll give my life to You.  You can have it.  I can't control it any more." 

I thought that this was an easy way out of my problems... I could justify everything with God.

That summer, my parents sent me to a nine day training program that teaches teens how to witness to kids.  I was mortified.  I didn't want to share my so-called faith in a God I hardly believed in.  I wasn't allowed to quit the program, so I simply shut down.  On the fourth day, they took me and some other teens out to the park to witness to random people.  I had to share my 'faith' with a nineteen year old girl.  I spoke in a fairly monotone voice, inwardly begging the girl to ignore my words.  The girl was quiet and shy but she accepted Christ that day, explaining that she had just graduated from high school and received a Bible for graduation.  She hadn't known what to do with it until I came along and explained to her what it all meant.

This crushed me.  I went home that night and cried because I realized that God had used me, even though I was fighting against Him with all of my might.  He still used me to further His kingdom.

I went to Mexico City on a mission trip soon after.  I was able to see poverty, serve the needy, and witness to the lost through an interpreter.  I went to Angel Tree Camp and shared a cabin with several young girls whose parents were incarcerated.  Most of these girls had been abused and neglected throughout their lives and a few of them also accepted Christ.

By the end of the summer, I was able to lead more than thirty people to the Lord.  Me- a young, timid girl with wavering faith.  There was no denying that God had worked through me.  I had my end of the deal to keep.  My life was His.

I'm seventeen years old now, an upcoming senior in high school.  I have no doubt that God has worked in my life.  I'm still growing in Him every day.  There are still difficult times that I have to struggle through, but Jesus has held my hand through each trial.  Hard situations that would have broken my faith a few years ago now strengthen my relationship with the Lord.  I haven't cut in more than three years.  I'm not depressed.  I have a joy and a hope inside of me that is indescribable.  You can't know how it feels unless you have it for yourself.

I want to allow Jesus to control my life now because He is so much wiser than I am.  Believe me, I've tried to run my life on my own.  It never works.  I am so glad I made the decision to stay alive.  I've been able to do and experience so many things that I never would have imagined three years ago.  I've gone to Africa, mentored young girls who have problems with self injury or depression, wrote music, made many friends, wrote a book, and I am now interning at an inner city mission that is focused on spreading the gospel (and giving food) to the needy in my community.

I've never been happier.  And it's not just happiness that I feel... it's joy.

---

I put up a video where I share my testimony on my vlog channel on YouTube.  You can watch it here.

What's your testimony?  How has God transformed your life?  Feel free to share your story in a comment below.  I'd love to hear it.

To the Hopefuls ;)

To the Hopefuls-

To all of you hopefuls, to you boys out there,
Who have been thinking of asking me out,
This poem is a warning, a friendly "beware!"
You don't know what you're talking about.

See, I'm very picky.  It takes quite a lot
For a boy to win my affections.
You may be the right guy... but probably not.
Please know I have high expectations. 

I don't want to sound uppity, snooty, or mean,
But I feel like I should tell the truth.
I'm not in a great hurry.  I'm just seventeen!
There is still so much time left to choose.

I've liked guys before. You may have a chance.
I'm flattered.  You're so very kind-- but--
If you're trying to find a way into my pants,
Then you have the wrong girl in mind.

I know that God has great things in store,
And if you are the right guy, you'll see!
We can always be friends, but if you want more,
You must be seeking Him to find me.

Emily Whelchel
4-28-10

This was a joke in many ways, but... girls who feel this way as well, here is our anthem. :)  What do you think?

What's Your Story?

What were you like before you became a Christian?  What are sins that you have struggled with in the past?  It can be frightening and difficult to open up about your story.  Many Christians struggle with the concept of witnessing in general and especially with the daunting task of sharing their own testimony.  What's so difficult about this simple idea?  It's scary to talk about your past and your sins.  You may be afraid that you will be judged, discredited, and put down because of your story.  You may be afraid that you will say the wrong thing.  You may think that your testimony isn't "big" enough to impact anyone.

I've always learned that there are three basic steps to giving your testimony:

1.) Who you were before Christ.
2.) What happened to change all this.
3.) Who you are now.

Easy, right?  Not always.

Do you know how to tell your testimony in a way that will impact those around you and make them want to know more about Jesus Christ?  If not, keep reading.  I want to help you out. 

How to share your testimony. 
A testimony is basically the story of how you became a Christian and how Jesus Christ has changed your life.  Your story can be short or long.  You can share details about your childhood or you can give a few basic points from your life before Christ.  When you give your testimony, try to relate to your listener.  Remember to include the three things that I mentioned above. 

Who you were before Christ- Mention a specific sin that you struggled with in your life before Jesus.  Talk about your unhappiness, that incomplete feeling you had inside.  Talk about how you were lost in your sin and you never could have made it to heaven on your own.  Make sure that your listener realizes that you were a sinner. 

What happened to change all this- Talk about what made you realize that you needed Jesus.  What led you to Christ- your parents, your pastor, a camp, the Bible, a book?  What did you tell God when you admitted that you were a sinner?  What emotions were running through your head?  (These emotions may be what your listener is feeling at this moment.) 

Who you are now-  Describe the joy and peace you feel that comes from Jesus and only Jesus.  Have you overcome your aforementioned sin since you became a Christian?  Be sure to mention that you still face challenges at times, but you have a new hope and confidence in Jesus.  How has God changed your life for the better?  

Why is sharing my testimony so important?
Sharing your faith is a crucial part of being a disciple of Christ.  In Matthew 28:19, 20, Jesus commands us to go and make disciples of all nations.  Jesus did not ask us- He commanded us to share the gospel with the world.  When have you last shared your faith? 

Telling your story is a great way to witness because it involves getting personal with a friend or acquaintance and sharing your own story of how you came to Christ.  Personal testimonies are often impacting and thought-provoking.  Have you ever been to a Christian concert when one of the artists stood up and gave a touching story of how they came to Christ?  Did you not get chills?  Were you not brought to tears?  Testimonies go beyond saying, "You should become a Christian because the Bible says so."  When you give your testimony, you're saying, "This is what Jesus Christ did for my life and this is what He can do for you."    

Is sharing my testimony Biblical?
The Bible never gives a word-by-word, step-by-step description of how you should tell people about Jesus.  What the Bible does say is that you should go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.  In 1 Timothy 1:12-17, Paul briefly gives his testimony to fellow believer Timothy.  In Acts 22, Paul gives a more detailed testimony to a large crowd in Jerusalem. 
 
I have a horrible past.  I'm afraid that others will judge me if I give my testimony.
Everybody has sinned.  It may be frightening and embarrassing to admit what your life was like before Christ.  Maybe you were an alcoholic or into drugs.  Maybe you robbed banks.  Maybe you were a compulsive liar or extremely depressed.  Maybe you had an abortion or slept around.  The truth is: yeah, no matter who you are, you've messed up at some point in your life. 

The good thing about giving your testimony is the fact that you can use your mistakes and your bad choices to help lead someone to the Lord.  You don't have to share every detail about who you used to be.  Your description of your past may consist of something like, "Before I became a Christian, I was into drugs and really depressed.  My life was miserable until..." and that could be as far as you go. 

No matter what you struggled with as an unbeliever, there are people who are struggling with that same issue right now.  Your story could be what helps them realize that they need Jesus.  Pray for the Lord to give you courage to share your story to those around you.  Your testimony can help impact someone for Jesus and your life-changing transformation will reflect glory on Him.     

I became a Christian when I was very young.  I don't really have a good testimony.
I've heard so many people- especially young people- give this excuse when faced with the challenge of sharing their testimony.  "I got saved when I was five.  Sure, I was a sinner, but I never really did anything that bad.  My story can't impact anyone."  Honestly, testimonies aren't supposed to be some competition about who has the most life-shattering story.  That's not how it works.  Sharing your testimony means you telling someone about how you became a Christian.  You don't have to have some crazy, action-packed life before you became a Christian.  Your story can be "small."  People will still be touched, because you're telling about what changed you. 

Your testimony can go something like this: "I grew up in a Christian environment.  I always went to church.  Even though I was a little kid, I still messed up.  I disobeyed my parents, I lied, and I fought with my brother.  When a kind lady at church told me about how Jesus had died on the cross for my sins, it hit me.  I asked Jesus into my heart right then and admitted that I had sinned and needed Him.  Ever since then, my life has been changed.  I still struggle with sins like lying, but Jesus has given me a peace and a strength that I wouldn't have in my life without Him.  I'm truly joyful because Jesus is in my heart."   

See?  You can use your story to describe what Jesus has done for you.  It may not be shocking enough to fill a book, but your story can always be used to impact others for the Lord.   

What's your testimony?
I'll post my testimony on this site tomorrow, so check back to read my story.  You can use my testimony as an example in which to write yours or you can simply read and see how Jesus Christ has changed my life.  If you're not a Christian, be sure to read my story and find out what Jesus has done for me and where I come from as a Christian.

What's your testimony?  Leave it in a comment below.

Poverty: Water and Sanitation

Clean water is necessary for proper sanitation and survival.  How would you like to drink and bathe in muddy water that has been infected with parasites and diseases?  If I handed you a glass filled with muck and asked you to drink it, how would you respond?  "That's gross and humane.  I would never even touch that water," you might say, offended that anyone would offer you such a disgusting drink.

The truth is that water like this is the only thing that many people have.

Imagine having to bathe in water that cattle have defecated in and mosquitoes and vermin have infested.  Imagine if your parents (or if you're a parent, YOU) provided water brown with filth for your family to drink.  No parent should be forced dangerously unclean water to their children, but many have no choice. 

The 2006 United Nations Development Report states that 1.1 billion people in the world have inadequate access to water and 2.6 billion people lack basic sanitation.  Nearly 2 billion people die each year from water related diseases and 90% are under the age of five.  Clean water is such a critical need that it seems almost incomprehensible that people are going without it.  Two in three people who lack access to clean water live on less than two dollars a day, and one in three people who lack access to clean water lives on less than one dollar a day.  This may seem obvious, but this means that the main reason that people do not have water is because they live in extreme poverty.  Poverty is no excuse for people to be forced to live without clean water and sanitation. 

The next time you take a thirty minute shower- the next time you flush a toilet or wash your hands- remember that one in face children has no access to clean water at all.

What do you plan on doing about it?  Are you unsure?  Let me give you some suggestions.

• Donate to organizations that are focused on providing clean water to those who have none.  I'm about to give you a ton of different nonprofits to choose from.  Check out Blood:Water Mission, Global Water, charity:water, Clean Water Action, Healing Waters International, Water Aid, Water for People, Global Water Challenge, Water 1st, Thirst Relief, WSUP (Water and Sanitation for the Urban Poor), water.org, Water Advocates, and Water for the Ages.  These amazing people have researched and are currently working hard to solve the water crisis around the world. 
• When you purchase water bottles, think about choosing Ethos Water.  This water manufacturer (created by Starbucks) donates five cents to the Ethos Water Foundation.  So far, through this program, Starbucks has been able to grant 6.2 million dollars to the Ethos Water Foundation, providing water and sanitation to approximately 420,000 people in the last five years.
• This is a ways away, but celebrate World Water Day on March 22, 2011.  The World Water Day was designated by the United Nations in 1992 to help raise awareness to the water crisis around the world. 
• Start a group with your church, school, friends, or family to create a fundraiser to donate to some of these organizations.
• Post on your Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, etc. about the need of water.  Post stats, links to some of these websites... help raise awareness amongst your friends and colleagues about the water crisis. 
• Raise awareness and education about the international water crisis in daily conversation.
• Write letters to elected officials encouraging them to fight to help end the water crisis.
• Don't waste your water.  Don't drag out your showers or baths.  Don't leave on your garden hose or sprinklers for too long.  Shut off the sink faucet when you're brushing your teeth.  Water is such a valuable resource.  Don't let yourself waste it. 

Hope

Burdened by the world, free of all hope,
She moved through her day with sad eyes.
Painfully shy from her insecurities,
Nobody knew how she felt inside. 

She felt all alone: one against the world.
She was drowning inside of herself.
She wished for a way to escape all the pain,
Searched for faults in everyone else. 

She looked in the mirror and hated what she saw,
Her beauty was hidden to her eyes.
She wore scars on her wrists and sadness inside.
She wouldn't let anyone hear her cry.

One day she found a note in her textbook.
She'd never seen the handwriting before.
She read with wide eyes that soon filled with tears.
She was shocked. The note had her floored.

"I know life is hard to bear and endure,
And I've seen all the scars that you wear.
I don't want you to live feeling unloved,
So this note is from someone who cares."

She sank to the floor, white as a sheet,
As she looked at the note in her hands.
"Somewhere in the world, somebody cares,
Somebody out there understands."

Emily Whelchel
4-26-10


Whoever you are, whatever you're going through, you're not alone.  Have hope.

Loss: Blame

Okay, if you're reading this, I'm going to assume that you're either struggling from the loss of a loved one to suicide or you're debating the thought of ending your own life.  Either way, I've written this for you.  I know where you're coming from.  Two years ago, I lost a friend to suicide.  One of the biggest barriers you have to overcome is blaming yourself.  The loss of a loved one is so difficult to go through.  I understand that.  I'm writing this to encourage you not to give up hope.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It's possible to heal... maybe not forget, but it's possible to heal. 

After a loved one commits suicide, it is easy to begin searching for a cause or a reason for the death to have happened.  Many times, while searching for answers, you begin to blame yourself.  Tell me if any of these thoughts seem familiar:

"If I was a better friend..."
"If I reached out to her more..."
"If I hadn't have pushed him so hard..."
"If I would have looked harder for the signs..."
"If I would have been there for him more..."
"If I would have known, I could have stopped her..."
"If I listened better..."

If any of these thoughts echo your own, then you've been seeking blame in yourself after the death of a loved one.  In fact, as you read this, you may be thinking, "I know I'm blaming myself, because it's my fault."  I know how this feels.  I know what it's like to feel blame.  I know how difficult it is to stay strong and not despise yourself for not somehow stopping your friend or family member's death. 

Were you truly a bad friend?  One of your reasons for blame might be that you were not a good enough friend.  You didn't show your love well enough.  You didn't reach out enough.  You didn't provide a good enough reason for your loved one to not want to die.  Does this describe you?  If it does, I want you to start thinking about the good times you had with your lost friend.  Don't think about the last fight you had or about all the times you felt disappointed in each other.  I want you to think of the times when you laughed so hard, you both cried.  I want you to think of the deep talks you had, the moments you spent together, the last smile you shared.  That was you being a good friend.  Not a bad friend, not a disappointment, not a failure.  A good, loving friend. 

Did your loved one consider you a friend?  Did he or she care about you?  "Obviously not enough," you may want to tell me. "She still did it."  I realize that, but I also want you to realize something: your friend was not thinking correctly at her time of death.  He or she was not feeling rational enough to view life as something valuable.  He or she wasn't thinking about the consequences that you would face.  He or she was only looking for a way out of his or her pain.  What your friend did wasn't because you were a lousy friend, even if you feel that way now. 

Try to continue to remind yourself about the good times you shared and about how many times you tried to be a true friend.  If you nitpick until you find all of your failures as a friend, you're going to find them.  Nobody is a perfect friend.  You're going to disappoint yourself.  However, think about how many times you've "failed" all of your other friends and loved ones.  Have they committed suicide as a result of that?  No, of course not.  It's not your fault.  Honestly, even if you were the worst friend in the world, it's not your fault.        

Whose decision was it?  This is one of the easiest and one of the hardest things to accept.  Did you put the gun to your friend's head or force the pills down her throat?  Did you take your friend captive and force him to kill himself?  "Well, practically," you might say, but that doesn't cut it.  No.  Suicide cannot be your fault because it will never be your decision unless you do it to yourself.  Your friend's death was not your fault.  You didn't murder your friend.  She did it to herself.  It's sad, it's painful... I know it's hard.  I realize that it's difficult to accept and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this at all.  I'm so sorry.  But you can never honestly and truthfully blame a friend's suicide on yourself when it was ultimately his or her decision. 
 
Stop searching for minute details.  Your blame process may be something like this: "I know it's my fault because two summers ago, we had this conversation about how we loved this one song and then it turns out that her parents hated that song and the night before she died, she was listening to that song out loud in front of her parents and they got into a huge fight about that song and then they got into a fight about how messy her bedroom was and she died the next day.  That's why it's my fault."  Your story may seem more rational than this to you... your story may be crazier than this... your story may be about the same.  But to make a long story short, stop searching for these tiny, minute details that could put you at fault in your own mind and link you to your friend's death in the most irrational, bizarre way.  No.  Don't let yourself go there.  Stop tormenting yourself.  It's natural to feel blame, but don't strive to put yourself at blame.  You don't need to be at fault.  You aren't at fault.
   
Missing the signs.  There are basic signs leading to suicide that you've probably heard somewhere before.  Recklessness, giving away possessions, speaking carelessly about death or lack of hope, writing a will, sleeplessness, sudden change of attitude for better or worse, loss of interest in usual activities and hobbies, social withdrawal, and loss of appetite.  Since your friend's death, you may look back and start to notice signs that weren't there before.  This may shame you, horrify you, and make you blame yourself for missing what now seems like the obvious.  First of all, it's too late to change these things.  Right now, you need to focus on you healing rather than dwelling on your guilt.  You weren't the only one that missed signs.  It's difficult to find signs of suicide in a friend when you aren't looking for them, and what kind of friend would you be if you were constantly badgering and probing your friend for signs of suicide?  Just because you overlooked a sign that may or may not have been there, that doesn't mean that your friend's death was your fault.   
  
Stop making your friend the hero in this situation.  You may look for blame in yourself because you don't want to blame your friend.  You loved your friend.  You don't want to make her sound like a terrible person.  You want to visualize her as a heroic, amazing person who helped everyone around her.  This is extremely difficult to accept, but your friend was not perfect.  Suicide was a mistake on your friend's part.  Don't give your friend a break and throw yourself under the bus because of something that your friend has done.  Remember your friend for the good memories and the good things about her, but don't give yourself blame because you don't want to blame her for anything.
      
Sadly, you can't change the past.  I know this is hard.  I know that it hurts to lose a loved one to suicide.  I know you want to look back and sort through every facial expression, every word, every conversation... but the past is the past.  You are the one who matters right now.  You are the one who needs to heal.  Torturing yourself by searching out blame in yourself is not going to help anything.  You need to focus on looking forward, forgiving yourself and your friend, and reminding yourself about the good memories rather than the painful ones. 

If you are considering suicide, I hope this helps you realize how truly painful your death will be for those around you.  You may be thinking that your death will put blame on those who have hurt you and made your life miserable.  But instead, your death is going to hurt those who love you and care about you- probably even more than it will hurt your enemies.  Close your eyes and think of two or three people who you care about the most.  These are the ones who I wrote to in this article.  These are the ones who will be tormenting themselves, blaming themselves, and hating themselves for what you will have done.  Do you realize what you are doing to those around you?  If you want to commit suicide, please talk to one of these people about your thoughts.  Please reconsider.  Your decision has the potential to crush the hearts of many, many people around you.  Please don't do this to your loved ones. 

Thank you for reading this article.  If you have any additions or comments about this article, then you can leave them in the comment box below.  I'd love to hear from you.

I'm sorry that you're reading this right now.  I'm sorry if you feel blame towards yourself.  Please continue to remind yourself that the death of your loved one was not your fault.  You are not at fault here.  The sooner it takes for you to realize this, the sooner you can heal. 

Check back next week for my article about coping the right way after the death of a loved one to suicide.      

Featured Artist: Brandon Heath

You will probably best recognize Brandon Heath for his singles "Give Me Your Eyes", and "I'm Not Who I Was."  Brandon performs Christian music that ranges in the acoustic, gospel, and contemporary genres.

Quick Bio-
Brandon Heath grew up in Nashville, Tennessee.  His parents divorced when he was three and he was raised by his single mom.  Brandon didn't grow up in a religious household.  In fact, he says that he heard about Jesus for the first time when he attended a Christian youth camp when he was sixteen.  He was given his first guitar for Christmas when he was thirteen years old and ever since then, music became a passion in Brandon's life.  Brandon went ahead to college after high school and got a BA in English, but he ended up pursuing music as his career.  Brandon released a few indie albums until he was discovered by Reunion records.  Since then, Brandon has released two albums and has received numerous dove awards and even Grammy nominations.

Brandon Heath's songs are not only uplifting, inspiring, and moving, but so are his own convictions to reach out to the world.  Brandon works with Young Life, Blood:Water Mission, and Restore International.  Brandon seems to firmly believe in the importance of helping out in your community and around the world.

"One of the things that bothers me about this world is that we're all in this for ourselves.  We're looking out for number one.  I don't want to be alone, I want to live life with other people.  God even says it's better to join together in service to Him."

"Give Me Your Eyes" is a compelling song that betrays Brandon Heath's passion to see the world how God sees it.  "Give me Your eyes for just one second. Give me Your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing. Give me Your love for humanity. Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me Your eyes so I can see..."  In the same way, "Follow Me," a song that Brandon recorded with Leeland, speaks of the same passion to help the needy.  "I'll follow You into the homes of the broken, follow You into the world, meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God..." 

"Wait and See" and "I'm Not Who I Was" are both autobiographical songs where Brandon sings about his testimony, about his past, and about what God has done to change his life.  "When I'm Alone" shares the similar feelings that so many people share.  "Sometimes I get scared that somehow I'll cease to belong anywhere, so I need You when it all starts to show when I'm alone..."  "Trust You" is a beautiful song about letting go of your fears and insecurities and trusting God with your future.

Brandon Heath has a beautiful voice and an honest passion to serve the Lord.  He is also a fantastic songwriter.  His words can bring you closer to the Lord.  I definitely recommend that you add this Christian artist to your playlist!

To a Homosexual, From a Christian

Before I say anything, I would like to make it clear that I am not writing this to judge you, to look down on you, or to tell you that you're going to hell.  You don't need to feel defensive or offended before you read what I have to say... and I hope you don't feel that way after you finish reading.  You may not believe in God, but I do, and maybe this blog will help you see a little bit more where I am coming from as a Christian.  Will you hear me out? 

Christians and homosexuals have never seemed to get along.  I've seen pictures of 'Christians' holding up signs that say, "God hates fags."  They are so wrong and I'm sorry you've had to see that and be judged and put down like that.  I mean, where in the Bible does it say, "For God so loved the world... minus the gay people."?  Nowhere.  God doesn't hate you, no matter what you've been told.  When Christians hate you, they're making fools of themselves and their so-called religion.  They aren't expressing the love that the Jesus who they claim to worship expressed when He died on the cross for everyone, despite sexual orientation.  My God doesn't hate gay people.  My God doesn't hate you, no matter what you've done. 

Honestly, you and I have an equal chance of going to hell if we're going to base it only on our actions.  Homosexual or not, if you base your salvation on actions, you're going to hell.  Ouch... right?  It's not just you though.  It's me too.  If anyone on this green earth is a sinner, I am.  I have told lies, defiled my body, and used my words to hurt others.  I am a sinner.  The only difference salvation-wise between you and I (and I'm assuming here.  You can tell me if I'm wrong), is that I repented for my sins and accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior a few years back.  That's the only difference.  I still sin every day.  I try not to, but I do.  And I'm forgiven.  Don't be put off by my words here.  I'm not going to give the whole salvation plan right now.  You've probably heard it.  If not, then leave me a comment and I will talk to you for as long as you like.

Here could be a good place for me to quote a whole lot of Bible verses about how you're headed straight to hell with your gay lifestyle, but I'm not going to.  I'll go ahead and post the links to some Bible verses about homosexuality and you can read them for yourself, but I don't want to preach at you and put you down.  How do I have any right to do that?  I'm a sinner too.  I'd be a hypocrite if I judged you.  All I want to do is share with you what I know to be the truth and let you know about the sincere love that Jesus has for you.  Here are the verses that you can read for yourself about homosexuality: Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Romans 1:26-28.

If I am going to tell you the truth about what I think about homosexuality, I'll have to say this: I do think it's wrong for a man to have sex with a man and for a woman to have sex with a woman.  The Bible- which I believe is faultless- says that it's wrong to commit homosexual acts.  But do you know what else the Bible says is wrong? Adultery.  What else? Fornication- sex outside of marriage.  What else? Lusting after someone in your heart.  These are all sexual sins and I know many Christians who struggle with each and every one of them. Basically, even as a Christian, people are going to have sexual temptations.  I know young teens who are sleeping around- sinning- and are being let into church.  I know men and women who are living together, unmarried- sinning- who are being let into church.  What I want to know is why very few churches are not allowing homosexuals- whose sin is no worse (and no better) than any of these others'- into church.

I'm not going to deny that I think homosexuality is wrong.  But I'm not going to push you away from me if you are homosexual.  I'm not going to think any less of you as a human being.  I'm still going to treat you with the same dignity and respect as I would any other sinner on the face of this earth.  I have no right to say you're going to hell just because you're gay.  All I can say is that if you have not accepted Jesus Christ to be your Savior and repented of your sins, then you might have something to worry about... but because you're a sinner in general, not singularly because you're gay.

Finally, I would like to apologize to you and to all homosexuals out there for the persecution that the Christian Church has put upon you.  It is sinful, unjust, and completely ungodly to look down upon you as a person for this sin.  We need to focus on loving people instead of focusing on what they do wrong.  We should make it clear that we think that homosexuality is wrong- and I think we have- and then love you anyways.  That's what Jesus Christ did.  He makes it clear that He hates all sin, but we keep on sinning and He keeps on loving us.  So I'm sorry for what you've endured because of us.

I'm not going to say that God says it's okay to be gay, because I don't believe that.  But I am going to say that I love you the same and I wish you the best.  I am not homophobic.  I am not disgusted by you.  I'm not afraid to be friends with a gay person, so long as he or she is clear about where I stand.  I'm not afraid to talk to you about what you believe and about what I believe.  And I love you... in a sisterly way.  Leave me a comment if you have something to say.  I don't mind.

Have an amazing day.
Love,
Emily  

       

Poverty: Shelter

Picture your home in your mind.  Count how many rooms are in your house.  When it rains, do you have somewhere to keep you dry?  Are you protected from the cold during the winter and the heat during the summer?  Even if your home is small and needs repair, you are blessed.  There are more than 100 million people who are homeless around the globe and many people who have a home at all are living in devastatingly poor conditions. 

According to UNICEF, one in three children lives without adequate shelter.  The World Bank Key Data and Statistics states that a quarter of the population lives without electricity.  "Electricity isn't that big of a deal," you may be thinking.

Think again.

I'm going to give you a small challenge.  For twenty-four hours, I want you to go without electricity.  That means no heating, lighting, or air conditioning.  No stoves, microwaves or electric can openers.  Any food that comes out of the refrigerator or freezer is off limits.  No warm water, television, or video games.  If your plumbing system runs on electricity, then say goodbye to that as well.  Are you starting to get the idea? 

Let me tell you a true story.  I once knew a little girl who lived in the poor area of my city.  Let's call her "Mary."  Mary's family was very poor and they had no money to pay the electric bill, so they relied on candles to provide lighting and warmth.  One night in November, the family was very cold, so they decided to leave their candles lit through the night to try and heat up their home.  Somehow a candle tipped over and a fire was started in the middle of the night.  It spread rapidly before anyone in the family even woke up.  Everyone managed to escape... except for one person.  Mary was trapped inside her burning house.

Little Mary died in the flames of her home on November 19, 2008.  She was twelve years old.  This story happened in modern day America. 

Lack of proper shelter can be dangerous.  No child deserves to live in a one room shack with twelve other people.  No child deserves to live in a house made of cardboard and tin.  No child deserves to live in a shelter that lets in rain and deadly mosquitoes.  No child deserves to suffer from sweltering heat or frigid cold in their own homes.  But they do.

What can you do to help?  "Well, I sure can't buy someone a house or pay for their electricity bill," you may be thinking.  "There is nothing I can do."  I can think of a few things.

Donate to nonprofit organizations who build homes.  Obviously, Habitat for Humanity is a great choice.  You can donate on their website.  From Houses to Homes is a nonprofit organization that focuses on building homes for the impoverished people of Guatemala.  The Fuller Center for Housing is another great nonprofit organization that focuses on building homes for the needy.  With this organization, you can also sponsor a home, similar to sponsoring a child.  For all of you young people like me, there is an organization called YouthBuild that helps teens reach out to their communities and build houses.
 
Volunteer your time.  Habitat for Humanity is a worldwide organization that helps provide homes for the needy.  If you live near a college or university, then there is probably a Habitat for Humanity group on campus that you could join.  YouthBuild is another great option.  You can also search around amongst the local ministries, as there are often many people who arrange for a house to be built or remodeled for a needy family.
 
Open your home.  You may know a college student or an elderly person or a newly divorced woman who is struggling to keep from losing their house.  Pray about this decision, but if you have an open room, then offer it to your friend for a couple of months.  Give someone a break.  In the Bible, Priscilla often opened her home for Paul.  You can share Jesus through such a giving act. 
 
Pray for those who are without homes.  Make a note to say a prayer at least once a day for the 100 million homeless and all of those who are suffering with an inadequate home.  Ask God to help them find proper shelter for the night.  When it is pouring rain or snowing outside, say a prayer for those who are sleeping outside.

Appreciate your home.  You may be tired of the cramped space of your bedroom or the leaky spot on your ceiling or the lousy air conditioning system, but remember to appreciate what God has blessed you with because there are many people who have less.  Instead of complaining about how small or ramshackle your house has become, say a prayer of thanks that you even have a home.

Try to conserve energy.  When you're leaving a room, turn off the lights.  Don't take two hour showers.  Turn off the faucet while brushing your teeth.  Don't leave on the sprinklers till your back yard floods.  Respect the gift that you do have and don't waste. 

What do you think?  How do you help those without homes?  Leave your comments below.
I take credit for the pictures used today. 

An Orange Sky

What color is the sky?  It's blue... right?

(Actually, some of you scientific folks may have something to say about how the sky isn't actually blue.  It absorbs all other colors and blue light is the most easily scattered, etc, etc... but the sky appears blue, so that's what I'm talking about here.)

New evidence has come out that the sky wasn't always blue.  Wha...?  This means that if you went up to Adam and Eve and started talking about the blue sky, they may have looked at you like you were crazy. 

In light of new evidence, it appears that the sky originally may have been orange, according to a large component of methane in the earth's atmosphere.  After a time, a "Great Oxidation Event" occurred (possibly the Great Flood?), causing a change in climate that caused the color change (and I'm not going to go on and on about the details of this... you can go here to read into the scientific parts, minus the evolutionary standpoint that this all occurred billions and billions of years ago.) 

Of course, there is no absolute proof that the sky was orange, considering that there is no photographic evidence, but it's neat to consider the idea, isn't it?  And can you imagine if the sky was orange before the Flood and blue after?  What a shocker for Noah and his family! 

I'm no scientist, but I must admit that the thought of an orange sky is pretty cool.

Loss: The Initial Shock

Two years ago, I came home from a movie that I had been waiting to see for months.  I Am Legend.  I was fifteen years old and a freshman in high school.  As I burst through the door to my room, I turned on my computer, eager to discuss the movie with my friends.

As I pulled open my MySpace page, a public bulletin caught my eye.  It said, "Who knows about Gatlin?!?!?!  I need to know DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!"  Afraid that some false rumor had begun to spread like a wildfire, I messaged the kid back, asking what he was talking about, and ready to shut the rumor down immediately in defense of my friend.  Gatlin and I were good friends in middle school, and our friendship had continued into high school.  The kid's response to my message sent my heart crashing down to my feet.  "Well, if you haven't heard, he killed himself.  Sorry if you knew him!"

My heart pounded in my head.  My thoughts were spinning.  It couldn't be true.  I stumbled downstairs into my parents' bedroom.  I could hardly get the words out.  "Gatlin... killed himself."  And I collapsed onto their bed, crying with fear.  In a frenzy, my parents made a few calls and then sadly confirmed the news.  Gatlin had taken his own life a few hours before.

I spent that night in torment.  The only emotions I felt were horror, numbness, and shame.  I wasn't sure how, but I knew that this was somehow my fault.

---

You or someone you know may have gone through a similar situation.  The loss of a loved one to suicide is a difficult and painful experience.  When a friend or relative commits suicide, loved ones often search desperately for a cause behind the terrible action.  When no reason can be found, it is common to start searching out blame in yourself.

The act of suicide often seems incomprehensible... taking a life, albeit your own, is a horrifying thing. After Gatlin died, a million and one questions ran through my mind.  "Why did he finally give in?"  "What could have been bad enough to make him snap like that?"  "Why wasn't he thinking about the people who loved him?"  "Why wasn't I there for him when I was supposed to be his friend?"

One of the biggest questions in my heart filled me with torment.  As a Christian, I was afraid to ask this question... and afraid of the answer I might receive.  The question: "Where was God in this?"

My human mind could not understand how God would allow one of His children- a Christian- to pull a trigger and take his own life.  How was this God's will?  Where was His love?  How did this bring Him glory?  Anger and betrayal filled my heart, but I suppressed my feelings within myself, sure that I could never let God know how I truly felt.

You may have lost a friend or relative to suicide or to an unfortunate tragedy.  You may be feeling similar emotions to the things that I felt as a grieving Christian.  Once a week for the next few weeks, I will be expanding on the issue of loss and how to heal from grief within your relationship with God.

If you have a loved one who is suffering from the loss of a friend or family member, then this next blog series can help you know how to comfort them and find the right words to say.  Your friend needs you to be there for them and encourage them through this difficult time.

If you are considering suicide as an alternative for life, then I'm going to ask you to hold on for a few more weeks.  I'm pleading with you to hang on for just a little bit longer and listen to what I have to say.  I want to give you a glimpse into what it is like for the people who lose a loved one to suicide.  I want you to face how your action will affect those around you.  If you are contemplating suicide, then don't let yourself feel this way any longer.  There is hope.  Please search out help... find someone to talk to about what you are feeling.  Talk to someone you know and trust or go to www.suicidehotlines.com.

If you have a personal story of healing (or helping a friend to heal) from the loss of a loved one, then comment below.

Planet Earth

Planet earth is busy, crazy, and loud,
Filled with the self-centered, lazy, and proud.
I wish I was up there with You right now,
But I'm stuck in this life and I can't make a sound.

Only You see me through the noise and the mess.
You know when I'm struggling, but trying my best.
You open Your arms and give me hope and rest,
But this harsh world is putting my faith to the test.

I feel like I'm drowning most of the time.
A light in this darkness is so hard to find.
Sometimes all I wish is to just press rewind.
You continue to guide me when my heart is blind.

I am only a child- that much is true.
There is so very much that I cannot do.
Yet I feel a hope. I have been renewed.
When I lose my courage, I will look to You.

Emily Whelchel
5-13-10

Almost There

School's almost out and everyone's bored.
We sit in our desks with blank stares.
Tests come and go, the teachers still teach,
But none of us is close to prepared.

Tee-shirts, flip flops, no more winter coats!
At last, we can lay out in the sun.
We don't want finals or semester exams.
We want summer camps, parties, and fun.

Excitement is high, the tension is thick,
And oh my- it's only mid-March!
I can't even imagine what school will be like,
When the end of year actually starts.

But then it does come, and never too soon,
Cleaning lockers and hugging our seniors.
Summer's finally here- freedom at last!
Shouting, "Have fun! I'll see you next year!"

But one thing remains- a shackle, a chain,
A reminder of our yearly detainment.
Stacks of thick books, hundreds of pages,
To read for summer English assignments

Mommy Day

I was searching through old poems today and found these two little pieces I wrote in early 2002 when I was nine.

Happy Mother's Day

I'm glad you're my mom.
You have an amazing style.
You're also nice,
And you have a great smile.

You tuck me in at night.
You give great hugs.
When Luke makes a mess,
You vacuum the rugs.

Your voice is like a bell,
Chiming, so great!
Another good thing is
You let me stay up late.

Those are only some reasons,
That's why you're so fun.
After we snuggle,
The day's finally done.


Someone Little

Someone little found your love
Mixed up in the flowers.
That little one stares it it
For hours and hours.

Someone little found your care,
Found a little everywhere.
Your love for them might be mild,
But that someone little is your child.

Reviewing: I Am Hutterite by Marry-Ann Kirksby

"I am Hutterite" is a touching memoir written from the viewpoint of a young girl growing up in a Canadian Hutterite community.  For those like me who have never heard of "Hutterites" before, they are very similar to the Amish.  Mary-Ann never knew any other life until her parents moved the entire family away from the colony into the "English" world.  Mary-Ann was forced to conform to a completely different lifestyle. 

What I Liked-
I've always been curious about the Amish/Hutterite communities.  Mary-Ann Kirksby gave readers a rare look into her childhood and culture.  She was descriptive and eloquent in her writing skills and she provided beautiful stories.  Kirksby's moments of comic relief are funny and well-placed.  Kirksby also showed that it was possible to keep her faith even while transitioning between religious beliefs. 

What I Didn't Like-
The description on the back of the book is a little deceiving.  It appears that the book begins with Kirksby leaving her Hutterite colony and adjusting to a new life.  However, the majority of the book talks about Kirksby's family history and only the last few chapters involves Kirkby living in the "English" world at all.  I would have liked to see a little more about Mary-Ann's difficult transition into her new life.  There are times when Kirksby is too descriptive and her paragraphs get a little lengthy and slow, but she manages to re-attract the reader's attention fairly quickly.   

I recommend this book for-
Solid readers, probably over the age of fifteen.  This isn't an incredibly difficult read, but it isn't a sit-down easy read either.  Anyone curious about the way of life in Hutterite and Amish communities should check out this book, as well as those who enjoy coming-of-age autobiographies and memoirs. 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 <https://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Sisters

Our eyes are like skies filled with diamonds
And thousands of pixie dust stars.
Our feet in the sand, faces to the sky,
While the beach lies sleepy and warm.

And the trees sway about us like dancers,
In a breeze that is soothing and sweet.
We splash about in the gentle, white waves,
Spinning in white dresses and bare feet.

The moon casts pale shadows all 'round us,
And the soft light shines on our hair.
We giggle and twirl, only two little girls,
Dancing, laughing, without any cares.

We fall onto a pillow-white seashore,
And listen to the ocean's deep whisper.
We're young; we're amazed by the little things.
Two best friends; we are two little sisters.

Emily Whelchel
5-6-10

In a Million Years

This is a song I wrote when I was fourteen years old.  One of my first attempts at songwriting, so be gentle!

In A Million Years

Can't He see me? I'm trying to trust Him, but it's so hard.
All this death, Lord. If You love us, then why do we die?
I'm so frightened
When I see the world crashing
Down and down and down.
Tell me, Lord,
If I give myself to You,
Will I live after I die?

In a million years, I'll be alive.
In a million years, my heart will thrive,
And I'll be laughing, dancing, singing,
To the One King of all times.
In a million years, I'll see the day.
In a million years, I will still pray.
And He will love me,
And He will care,
And I'll be laughing.

I feel His peace when others start to cry.
I know He'll care for me.
I know I'm not alone.  I simply smile
When I see my world crashing
Down and down and down.
I know I've got it.
I will live. I will live and never die.

In a million years, I'll be alive.
In a million years, my heart will thrive,
And I'll be laughing, dancing, singing
To the One King of all times.
In a million years, I'll see the day.
In a million years, I will still pray.
And He'll still love me.
And He'll still care.
And I'll be dancing.

I don't know everything God has planned for me.
How can I, really?
I'm a person and God is God.
So let's keep living
Until the world comes crashing
Down and down and down.
I know the Lord would never let me die.
He holds me tight within His heart.

In a million years, I'll be alive.
In a million years, my heart will thrive.
And I'll be laughing, dancing, singing
To the One King of all times.
In a million years, I'll see the day.
In a million years, I will still pray.
And I will love Him.
And I will care.
And I'll be singing.

How can this be that He set me free?
That I am alive for the One who created me?

In a million years, I'll be alive.
In a million years, my heart will thrive.
And I'll be laughing, dancing, singing
To the One King of all times.
In a million years, I'll see the day.
In a million years, I will still pray.
And I'll be happy.
And I will live.
And I'll be praising.

Reviewing: Owl City

Owl City has only recently come into the spotlight with its hit "Fireflies."  Owl City is known for its unique synthpop sound and naive, lighthearted lyrics.  For the sake of time and space, I will not be reviewing Owl City's two independent albums.  I will only review the album that was produced under the label Universal Republic called "Ocean Eyes." 

Quick Bio-
Owl City isn't an actual band with several members.  The "band" actually consists of one guy named Adam Young who started out making music in his basement.  Adam's unique sound was influenced by European electronic music.  Adam Young first started making and recording music as a result of his insomnia.  His songs soon became viral on MySpace.  Adam released two indie albums of his own until he was signed to the label Universal Republic.  Soon after, Adam released the album "Ocean Eyes" in June of 2009.  His single "Fireflies" became widely popular and is the most-downloaded song on iTunes. 

"Fireflies", by far Owl City's most popular song, is about Adam Young's imaginative dream of being hugged by thousands of fireflies.  The song in itself is innocent and whimsical, and it contains many childish lyrics, such as, "I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly," and "I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs as they tried to teach me how to dance."  The music video is somewhat mysterious, containing clips of Adam Young tinkering with instruments and toys inside of a child's bedroom, presumably his own. 

"Cave In" is a song about running away.  Its lyrics are innocent, if not vague and confusing.  Adam Young's style of writing is both descriptive and imaginative.  This style is found in the chorus of "Umbrella Beach."  "Home will always be here, unseen, outta sight where I disappear and hide.  I think dreamy things as I'm waving goodbye, so I'll spread out my wings and fly."  "Saltwater Room" and "On the Wing" are dreamy-toned love songs.  "Hello Seattle" is a metaphoric song that most people seem to believe is talking about Adam's relationship with a girl instead of a city.  However, Adam has a different perspective of the song. 

"I have this thing for ocean towns. Growing up in a small farm town in the middle of nowhere, and because I am an only child, daydreaming about faraway places took up a lot of my time and energy as a kid. I also like the way Seattle sounds when you say it. It has a ring to it."   

If you're looking for a comedic song, "Dental Care" is about Adam's visits to his dentist and relating fears.  On the "iffy" side, Adam sings about potential accidents involving alcohol and a golf club.  "Golf and alcohol don't mix and that's why I don't drink and drive, because good grief, I'd knock out my teeth and have to kiss my smile goodbye." 

"Meteor Shower" is sparing on lyrics, but it appears to be a sweet love song as well.  "Tidal Wave" is a song about overcoming insecurities and fears in a relationship, while "Vanilla Twilight" is a song about missing a beloved girl that has gone away.  You can envision the cold touch of winter and imagine all that lies between the lines when you hear "The Tip of the Iceberg," a poetic, wintery song.  

The most "iffy" lyrics in the album come from "If My Heart Was A House" and "The Bird and the Worm."  In "If My Heart Was A House," Adam sings, "Chills run down my spine as our fingers entwine and your sides harmonize with mine.  Unmistakably, I can still feel your heart beat fast when you dance with me."  The song does not specifically talk about a sexual encounter, but it can easily be perceived as a song about an intimate romance.  You can find a similar meaning in "The Bird and the Worm."  "If you're my girl, swirl me around your room with feeling and as we twirl, the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling will shine for us as love sweeps over the room, 'cause we tend to make each other blush."  Again, nothing sexually explicit, but one can easily imagine what Adam may or may not be singing about.  I will leave these two songs up to you to decide whether or not you choose to add them to your playlist.   

Adam Young of Owl City professes himself to be a Christian, although he prefers to put his music into the mainstream industry rather than into the Christian media.

"I don't write Christian songs but I am a Christian musician so I suppose the classification of the band is up to the listener.  My faith is very important to me and is a very big part of who I am as an individual.  It's kind of up to you."

Overall, Owl City's songs refrain from cussing and inappropriate lyrics.  Adam Young tends to sing about nature, life and love with naive, innocent words that uplift his fans rather than bring them down.  If you are already a fan or considering becoming a fan of Owl City, then I have nothing to say against his music.

Owl City has recently toured with Relient K, a Christian rock band.  Adam Young appears to be enjoying his success- and even his insomnia- at this point in his career.  I'll end with a quote from the odd musician.

"I'd rather be happy than sad. I'd rather eat donuts than rocks. Those are my thoughts."   

Any input or critiques?  Would you like me to review a music artist or band, secular or Christian?  Leave your comments below.