Learning to trust God.

Day 6: Describe a specific moment where God obviously was working in your life.

There have been many moments where God has obviously worked in my life.  He's been involved in my life since day one.  But if I was to pick one moment, I'd have to pick an instance from the summer before my freshman year of high school.

My eighth grade year, I was struggling with severe depression and an addiction to cutting.  I hated myself and I wanted to die.  My parents had me see a counselor after a failed suicide attempt, but when you aren't willing to listen, you won't learn, and that's exactly what happened to me.

The summer before my freshman year of high school, I made a deal with God.  I know that's a bad thing to do, but I didn't care.  I had pretty much stopped believing in God anyways.  I openly denied His existence to my friends.  I was sure that if He actually existed, He would have taken away my depression long before.  He would make me happy again.  So yes, I made a deal with God, mostly so I could blame my future death on His lack of presence in my life.  I asked God to show me that He was working in my life over the summer or I would kill myself before school began.  My end of the deal was if He showed me that He could work in my life, then I would give myself to Him because I sure couldn't handle things on my own anymore.

Basically, over that summer, God used me in ways I never thought possible.  My parents forced me to attend this training called Christian Youth In Action that teaches teens how to witness to kids.  Since I didn't believe in God, that was a big problem.  I hated the training.  On the fourth day, we had to open air evangelize to children, and by accident, my leader approached a short, young-looking nineteen-year-old girl.  Humiliated and shy, I shared the gospel, expecting her to laugh and walk away, but much to my surprise, the girl asked Jesus into her heart that day.

\That night, I went home and wept.  For the first time, I knew that God had just worked through me without any effort on my part.

Over the course of the summer, I was given the opportunity to lead more than thirty people to Christ, both children and adults.  That was not me.  There was no way a shy, depressed, doubtful fourteen-year-old girl could have done something like that on her own.  I was so shy, I could hardly approach my friends, let alone a complete stranger.  God worked through me that summer.  There's no doubt.

I also went on a mission trip to Mexico City and was given the chance to work with kids living in poverty.  I got to share my testimony through an interpreter, the first time I'd ever done something like that before.  I learned what it meant to sacrifice my own comfort for the sake of somebody else.  I also was a counselor at Angel Tree Camp, a camp for kids with incarcerated parents.

By the end of that summer, there was no doubt in my mind.  God had worked through me.  From then on, I knew it would be a struggle for me to entirely give myself to Him.  Sometimes I still pull away.  Sometimes I clutch at my dreams and don't let Him take control, but I do have a deal to keep.  And my life is still His, even when I mess up.

How has God worked in your life?