My Confession.

Day 10: 1 Confession

Today is the last day of my ten day blogging challenge.  Did you take the challenge along with me?  Will you take the challenge later?  If you do, let me know in a comment so I can follow along.
I've been dreading this last topic because I'm not quite sure what my "one confession" would be.  I tend to share a lot of things about myself on this blog, so most of you know what I've been through and even quite a few of the struggles I'm going through right now.  I'm not sure if I have much of a confession to share.  But the day has come for me to write about "my one confession" here, so I should probably think of something, however lame my "confession" might be.
Okay, after puttering around a bit, I've decided on a confession.  Ready?

My name is Emily and I still doubt.

Jesus Christ has shown Himself in my life in so many ways.  He has worked through me despite my many faults and stubbornness.  He has forgiven me each time I messed up, held my hand as I cried, and brought me through circumstances I never could have overcome on my own.  And yet after a particularly difficult day, I sometimes find myself questioning Him.

"Why would You let this happen to me?  Why does life have to be so hard?  If You're here for me always, then why do I feel so alone?"

I have no right to question the Lord, and yet I confess, I still do.  Sometimes I still wonder if it was the right thing to let Him take control.  I still recklessly attempt to take control of my own life.  I still stumble, fall, and return to Jesus with bloody knees and scraped palms... and He always takes me back.  Every single time.

I cannot comprehend how powerful His love is.

I don't deserve to be loved by Him.  I don't deserve to be forgiven.  He gave everything so I could be saved... and I still pull away from Him.

After everything I've done, after every mistake I've made, after every unnecessary doubt that has passed through my mind, He still loves me.  He still carries me through every trial.  He still picks me up off the ground and kisses those scraped palms and knees.  I owe everything to Him.

My name is Emily and I am LOVED.