A whole lot of time has been spent "waiting" for God's plan to be revealed, when I'm walking in a piece of it at this very moment.
The truth is that God's plan reaches much further than what my nearsightedness can grasp. He desires for me to serve Him in my youth, as one who is growing and changing each day... not because I'm waiting, but because I'm here! His plan for my singleness has never been only to "wait for marriage," but to refine and transform my relationship with Him until I am madly in love with my Creator and satisfied by Him alone.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 145:16 says that God opens His hand and satisfies the desires of every living thing. The Lord wants to give us good things, satisfy our needs, and provide fullness of joy.
God knows the desires of my heart because He is the one who placed those longings there. He sustains, cherishes, and gives abundantly.
While I no longer want to be in a place of apathetic "waiting," that word can be used to describe choices that are glorifying to the Lord. It is a very good thing to wait to fall in love until God's timing is right and to wait to have sex until marriage. But just because I am waiting to do and feel certain things, there is not a lull in the fullness of my life as a servant of God. I am not frozen in place. I have been given opportunities to serve and I am being filled with joy right where I am!
Purity is another word I have seen twisted recently and turned into Christianese. Is purity only defined by "not lusting," or is there more? Psalm 119:9 says, "How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to Your Word." Purity means more than waiting to have sex or even waiting to get married. Purity is a lifestyle, a heart that is in love with Christ and not with the things of this world.
I have been placed lovingly into this one-on-one time with Jesus. This exact puzzle piece of my life will probably be replaced by another, but both are beautiful. Both are moments of joy and total satisfaction if I only accept the good gifts the Lord is offering.
In a Christian society that is often quite focused on "waiting" and on a very narrow meaning of "purity," it's easy to begin to see singleness as frustrating and lonely rather than a time of great joy and growth in the Lord. I've seen this ache in so many girls like me.Over the next several weeks, I will take on a project I'm tentatively calling Unveiled.
So many books, blogs, conferences, and articles sum up a Christian girl's young adulthood as a time of waiting for her husband. While we are being refined at this very moment for our future, there is so much God has in store for right now! The Lord wants us to be daily transformed rather than suspended in time. He desires for us to be moving instead of only waiting. He has called us to different stages of life with His perfect intentions, whether it's to singleness or education or marriage or overseas missions or being a parent. You get the idea.
I'm using the title "Unveiled" because of 2 Corinthians 3:18, which says, "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." I encourage you to take the time to read 2 Corinthians 3:12-18, a passage that has inspired much of my heart for this project.
Over the next several Wednesdays, others will take over my blog. They are girls:
- Who are seeking the Lord with hearts of joy
- Who are learning marvelous and beautiful things
- Who have experienced both brokenness and redemption
Each Wednesday, a young woman will share her story right here. She'll answer questions about being satisfied in the Lord, singleness (frustrations, delights, and learning experiences), fullness of joy, and what she is learning right where she is.
Hopefully you can learn from these precious ladies as much as I have. If you know a girl who is struggling or feeling doubtful, send her to this place. We're young and we still have a lot to learn, but we have encouragement and a whole lot of hope to offer.
Unveiled is a recent idea and still very much in its first steps, so if you have any ideas or questions, please talk to me about them. I am so ready to learn new things.
Unveiled begins next Wednesday, September 11.
Two years ago: Big, Fluffy Clouds
Three years ago: The Shoe Review Blog
Long ago and far away, I decided I wanted to learn to have a pure heart. I was in high school or college, I'm not sure which. When I wanted to learn something, I had a habit of finding a book about it and trying to learn from the book. I went to the library and searched through the card catalog. That was before everything was computerized.
ReplyDeleteI saw this title: "Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing."
I didn't check out the book. I didn't even look at it. The title told me everything I wanted to know.
I focused on purity for most of my life, until a few years ago. Now I'm struggling to learn meekness and kindness, not because I've mastered purity, but because I just felt called to focus more now on those.
I see a lot of grief in the world today arising out of what I see as modern superstitions about love, marriage, romance and sex, but I haven't found any way to help free anyone from those superstitions, and I've pretty much lost any hope of learning to. I'll pray about it and see if I get any new ideas. I've thought a lot about the power of stories, but I'm having trouble learning to tell stories, too. I'll pray about that too.
ReplyDeleteBesides all that, I'm supposed to be taking a break from the Internet.
I like this post very much. I remember noticing what you're saying about waiting, in college and in the Air Force. I had friends who were just drifting aimlessly in their lives, waiting to finish college, or waiting to get out of the Air Force, before even trying to do whatever they wanted to do with their lives. Later I saw people waiting until they had more money, or a better job, or any number of things. The temptation will always be there, to wait until you reach the next horizon before you start doing whatever you think you eventually want to do with your life. Just like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Recommended reading: "Love is a Story" by Robert Sternberg
ReplyDeleteSorry, I keep seeing more that I want to comment on.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote:
"His plan for my singleness has never been only to "wait for marriage," but to refine and transform my relationship with Him until I am madly in love with my Creator and satisfied by Him alone."
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
The thoughts still keep coming.
ReplyDeleteConsidering the sexual aspect of purity, as you say, there's a lot more to it than saving sex for marriage, and being married doesn't automatically make it pure. Sex within a marriage can be just as impure as it can be outside of marriage.
Hey friend! I would really love to hear you all's experiences in dating and relationships. Like, your perspective on relationships and marriage and if you believe in a one true love. I have been forming more friendships with guys than I have before and now that I am in a new place in Christ, I wanted to hear advice from other girls who may be going through the same thing.
ReplyDeleteYes! Thank you for sharing specific requests. I cannot wait for this project to begin. :)
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